Saturday, May 2, 2009
so GREEN
Two days ago I went for a nice long walk after work and was struck by how green and alive everything looked! I guess there are just some things you don't notice when you are driving.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
When you talk to nurses, one of the most common reasons they will give for entering the field is for the "rewards", those invisible little experiences that sometimes have the super charged power of adrenaline and keep us going on days when it seems like the walls of the hospital are about to cave in.
The difficult thing about these satisfying moments is that you never really know when you are going to find one. You see, there are days when you can't figure out how to best help your patient. Days when you can't remember everything you are supposed to do and end up passing off part of your job to the next shift. Days when parents are looking to you to solve the problem, but really you can't fix everything. This is the most incredibly frustrating part - I went into this profession to help out. Terrible things happen in this world and someone needs to be on the other side of them to help people get their lives back. I can do that. Or, rather, I want to do that. Turns out you can't help people in every way they need to be helped. Huh, turns out.
The difficult thing about these satisfying moments is that you never really know when you are going to find one. You see, there are days when you can't figure out how to best help your patient. Days when you can't remember everything you are supposed to do and end up passing off part of your job to the next shift. Days when parents are looking to you to solve the problem, but really you can't fix everything. This is the most incredibly frustrating part - I went into this profession to help out. Terrible things happen in this world and someone needs to be on the other side of them to help people get their lives back. I can do that. Or, rather, I want to do that. Turns out you can't help people in every way they need to be helped. Huh, turns out.
Monday, March 30, 2009
What hinders love?
This week at church we talked about love - not how to do it, but why we don't do it. I liked this approach, as the "how" reasons often leave me feeling inadequate or incapable. Do any of us love everyone all the time? No, I mean if "being kind and compassionate" is how we show love to a person, I fall short constantly!
There are always going to be those simple frustrations that lead to not-loving thoughts toward people... Or those times when I just don't go out of my way to show love to someone... But, for right now I want to dig into the more difficult situations. What do I do when my heart so wants to fill with hate - hate for the drunk driver that brings yet another patient into my unit, hate for the person who rapes a 12 year old, hate for person who lies and steals from my friend? I've heard we are supposed to not hate the person, but rather what the person does. That makes sense... sometimes. But, sometimes it is really hard to separate the person from their actions. Actions speaking louder than words and all that...
But, I really do believe we are supposed to love. Return love for hate, believe in hope where there is none... Now, just for that "why" question.
First, I think it is important to say that to know what love is does not necessarily produce it. I can have a great amount of love for my family, and know how to feel and express it, but have no love for another person. The idea we were challenged with on Sunday was this: Love is an evidence that something has already happened. So, I can love because I have been loved. I have been forgiven, so I can forgive. The passage we focused on was in Luke: "he who is forgiven little, loves little". If we don't believe we have much to be forgiven for (self righteousness), how can we love another person?
So, ok, back to the question: what hinders love? Well, maybe it is the minimization of our need for forgiveness (the ultimate act of love). Do we consider ourselves more deserving of love than another person? I wonder, what would happen if we started to consider others better than ourselves. Is it our merit that makes us deserving of love, or is it simply about who we are? That is a counter-cultural idea, I'd say, but I'm just throwing it out there as food for thought :-)
The "love is patient, love is kind" list does an excellent job of informing our hearts, but it doesn't transform us (at least not me). The transforming power, I think, comes when I remember how greatly & wholly I've been loved. That is motivating.
There are always going to be those simple frustrations that lead to not-loving thoughts toward people... Or those times when I just don't go out of my way to show love to someone... But, for right now I want to dig into the more difficult situations. What do I do when my heart so wants to fill with hate - hate for the drunk driver that brings yet another patient into my unit, hate for the person who rapes a 12 year old, hate for person who lies and steals from my friend? I've heard we are supposed to not hate the person, but rather what the person does. That makes sense... sometimes. But, sometimes it is really hard to separate the person from their actions. Actions speaking louder than words and all that...
But, I really do believe we are supposed to love. Return love for hate, believe in hope where there is none... Now, just for that "why" question.
First, I think it is important to say that to know what love is does not necessarily produce it. I can have a great amount of love for my family, and know how to feel and express it, but have no love for another person. The idea we were challenged with on Sunday was this: Love is an evidence that something has already happened. So, I can love because I have been loved. I have been forgiven, so I can forgive. The passage we focused on was in Luke: "he who is forgiven little, loves little". If we don't believe we have much to be forgiven for (self righteousness), how can we love another person?
So, ok, back to the question: what hinders love? Well, maybe it is the minimization of our need for forgiveness (the ultimate act of love). Do we consider ourselves more deserving of love than another person? I wonder, what would happen if we started to consider others better than ourselves. Is it our merit that makes us deserving of love, or is it simply about who we are? That is a counter-cultural idea, I'd say, but I'm just throwing it out there as food for thought :-)
The "love is patient, love is kind" list does an excellent job of informing our hearts, but it doesn't transform us (at least not me). The transforming power, I think, comes when I remember how greatly & wholly I've been loved. That is motivating.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Jumping right back into work, post-vacation, is hard. But, complaining is boring and I think finding joy makes for a happier person... so, I'm trying anyway. True, there are days when you have to think really hard to find the "highlights", but I have an easy one from yesterday that I hope someone will enjoy hearing about it.
So, I have this patient who loves her baby doll. She has this sweet stroller that my 6-year old self would totally covet and she will spend a good chunk of her free time pushing her around the unit. We put a little diaper on her to keep her decent, sometimes I check her heart with my stethoscope to make sure she is staying healthy, and once I showed my patient how to swaddle her in a pillow case (apparently I did it wrong because it came off immediately). Anyway, my little patient is in a wheelchair and pushing your own wheelchair plus a toy stroller comes with certain challenges, right? It was slow going for a while, but as I watched her I decided not to step in and push her wheelchair for her because 1.) she seemed content and 2.) why interrupt such beautiful determination? Probably about one hour into this I look over into our playroom and see that my resourceful little patient had figured out a way to hook the stroller to the side of her wheelchair so she could propel the wheelchair and bring the stroller along with her... she and dolly were on their way!
Ok, so I admit that might be a corny story, but I loved it! Her dedication, resourcefulness... love it all. When you work with kids probably the best, most rewarding thing to watch is them finding their own way. I think this is a perfect, "little" example of that. Sometimes I just wish people could come see my kids just so they could see how awesome and capable they are! Disabilities don't exist in our hospital - only creative solutions. She taught me to remember how much really is outside the box.
So, I have this patient who loves her baby doll. She has this sweet stroller that my 6-year old self would totally covet and she will spend a good chunk of her free time pushing her around the unit. We put a little diaper on her to keep her decent, sometimes I check her heart with my stethoscope to make sure she is staying healthy, and once I showed my patient how to swaddle her in a pillow case (apparently I did it wrong because it came off immediately). Anyway, my little patient is in a wheelchair and pushing your own wheelchair plus a toy stroller comes with certain challenges, right? It was slow going for a while, but as I watched her I decided not to step in and push her wheelchair for her because 1.) she seemed content and 2.) why interrupt such beautiful determination? Probably about one hour into this I look over into our playroom and see that my resourceful little patient had figured out a way to hook the stroller to the side of her wheelchair so she could propel the wheelchair and bring the stroller along with her... she and dolly were on their way!
Ok, so I admit that might be a corny story, but I loved it! Her dedication, resourcefulness... love it all. When you work with kids probably the best, most rewarding thing to watch is them finding their own way. I think this is a perfect, "little" example of that. Sometimes I just wish people could come see my kids just so they could see how awesome and capable they are! Disabilities don't exist in our hospital - only creative solutions. She taught me to remember how much really is outside the box.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Ok, here is an assortment of the pictures. I think it is safe to say that I am addicted to beautiful places!
At MSP and ready to go!
About to hit the beach
Ah, we have arrived....
Doing a really good job of enjoying the sun
Dressed up for dinner
Ooh, real Mexican food. So good!
On the Eco Cat, ready for our tour!
We missed Katie every day. 
Lover's Beach - apparently the 9th most beautiful beach in the world
Ready to snorkle!!
Post-snorkle party on the boat!
The fun lasted all day :-) 
And then we saw whales! A mom and calf... they were incredible!!
At Harley Davidson's
Me and my gals :-) 
More beach time on our last day
Our last Cabo dinner.... at the resort. So sad to leave!Thursday, March 19, 2009
Well, I am sitting in sweet, predictable MN. After a week in WI and then nearly 5 days in Cabo, I have to admit that a small part of me is happy to be sitting in the familiarity of my living room. Yes, I do wish there was an ocean a mere steps from my couch and a $1 Corona in my hand, but I guess you can't have it all, all the time. I was going through the stages of grief today as we were on our way out, nearly begging God to "just give me one more day" in our lovely resort with beautiful food, warm sun and a beach full of luscious men, but I guess He has other plans for my Friday. It appears that they include:
- doing my taxes
- laundry
- groceries/dinner
- cleaning room/bathroom
Oh I can hardly stand all the fun.
- doing my taxes
- laundry
- groceries/dinner
- cleaning room/bathroom
Oh I can hardly stand all the fun.
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