very merry.

Christmas at the hospital is hard to figure out. On one hand, there is some excitement. The night nurses take on some Santa-like qualities and distribute the gifts from our Child Life dept in the patient rooms, the popcorn tins and bags of chocolate bells pile high, and everyone (and I mean everyone) is wearing some outrageous combination of red and green. On the other hand, no one wants to be in the hospital on Christmas - staff or patients! Grief comes out at funny, unexpected times, but I think it is safe to say that Christmas is not really an unexpected time.

Holidays, by nature it seems, cause us to crave the securities in life. It seems as if humanity is especially in need of comfort & community during the holiday season. As it turns out, finding yourself in a very unfamiliar life experience is not comforting. And while the emotional needs of our patients run high, the desire to be at work runs low for the caretakers. It is an important inequality to realize, I think. Tragically ironic how the opportunities to really impact a person in a positive way happen to also be a time when I might not be "in the mood" for it. (For the record, I believe caretakers have to be in the right place to "be present". People who say they are ready to take on all the severe emotional needs of other people all the time are not very aware - or they have reached an incredible emotional maturity that I merely dream of. That's my opinion at least. The problem with that, I will admit, is that people don't always have time for you to get in the right emotional/spiritual place, but that's a topic for another blog).

Anyway, Christmas at the hospital is tricky. It's not a time that people want to outline in their holiday letters. But, it's not automatically a time that people will be inconsolable. I believe in the significance of faith & I am often in awe of how some are able to genuinely stand in the face of real tragedy and remain committed to things like life and love. I'm certain that there are always going to be times when you would have to fight for that kind of peace, though. The idea that peace washes over us is nice and probably true to some extent but, I also think there is some kind of battle involved - a reclaiming of the good and a rejection of all that enslaves us.

Redemption composes all that is good about Christmas, which by definition means there is something from which we need to be redeemed. No life is immune to grief - some grief will be manifested in small ways, other grief will take hold of us and never seems to release it's grip. No matter the experience, pain is always significant - but, may our spirits be moved to remain open to living in freedom and love.

Receive and give, my friends. Merry Christmas.