Settle Yourself

Tonight I felt myself turn back into the 13 year old little sister.

"Why don't people care about me?"
"Why don't people want to see me?"
"Why doesn't anyone love me me me me me me me?"

I had a very dramatic internal dialogue that I'm glad didn't spill onto anyone else's ears. Except now I'm telling you, so I guess the gig is up. So what? I get crabby sometimes. Deal.

It all started with having a good day at work. How inconsiderate, right? All these bad days and they dare to throw off my routine with a good one. It was long, but good. That hardly ever happens. Anyway, I came home and thought, "I should unwind with a hot bath" (this decision was mostly influenced by my new yummy soap, which is part of my plan to bring positive, beautiful things into my life). Turns out aromatherapy just made me feel fat. Sitting there in the bathtub, BORED out of my mind, thinking, "this is such a waste of time". And for some reason the hot water must have expanded my blood or something because I came out feeling quite large. I weighed myself after only to find that in fact, I had not changed sizes at all. HOW ANNOYING, right?!

So, then I decided to make some phone calls. Usually a good idea, except I was feeling that tight tummy feeling I get when I'm in a dramatic form of emotional distress. The person who usually irritates me the most when I'm crabby is myself, and that proved to be true again today. In the name of emotional self-sufficiency, I ended my prolonged conversation that I'm sure bored the person on the other end (PS this is not an apology) to spend some time just being. Well, that lasted 4.68 seconds. Restlessness leads to impulse, apparently, because then I made another phone call which led to spending a few hours covered in dog hair, only encouraging the crabby process.

Crabby crabby crabby.
Me me me me me me me me.
Poor me.