This week at church we talked about love - not how to do it, but why we don't do it. I liked this approach, as the "how" reasons often leave me feeling inadequate or incapable. Do any of us love everyone all the time? No, I mean if "being kind and compassionate" is how we show love to a person, I fall short constantly!
There are always going to be those simple frustrations that lead to not-loving thoughts toward people... Or those times when I just don't go out of my way to show love to someone... But, for right now I want to dig into the more difficult situations. What do I do when my heart so wants to fill with hate - hate for the drunk driver that brings yet another patient into my unit, hate for the person who rapes a 12 year old, hate for person who lies and steals from my friend? I've heard we are supposed to not hate the person, but rather what the person does. That makes sense... sometimes. But, sometimes it is really hard to separate the person from their actions. Actions speaking louder than words and all that...
But, I really do believe we are supposed to love. Return love for hate, believe in hope where there is none... Now, just for that "why" question.
First, I think it is important to say that to know what love is does not necessarily produce it. I can have a great amount of love for my family, and know how to feel and express it, but have no love for another person. The idea we were challenged with on Sunday was this: Love is an evidence that something has already happened. So, I can love because I have been loved. I have been forgiven, so I can forgive. The passage we focused on was in Luke: "he who is forgiven little, loves little". If we don't believe we have much to be forgiven for (self righteousness), how can we love another person?
So, ok, back to the question: what hinders love? Well, maybe it is the minimization of our need for forgiveness (the ultimate act of love). Do we consider ourselves more deserving of love than another person? I wonder, what would happen if we started to consider others better than ourselves. Is it our merit that makes us deserving of love, or is it simply about who we are? That is a counter-cultural idea, I'd say, but I'm just throwing it out there as food for thought :-)
The "love is patient, love is kind" list does an excellent job of informing our hearts, but it doesn't transform us (at least not me). The transforming power, I think, comes when I remember how greatly & wholly I've been loved. That is motivating.
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Interesting post Ashlee! I think you are right about being transformed by thinking about how wholly we have been loved. We have been forgiven for our faults just as the drunk driver or rapist shall be forgiven, although those actions sometimes seem unforgivable to us. For me, it helps to pray for the victim as well as the perpetrator...brings me peace.
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