I should have prepared myself more for the lunchtime - well, actually, worktime - conversations I was going to be having now that I am a pediatric nurse. I sometimes forget about stereotypes, so I was a little surprised when we played a "shower game" as a get-to-know you exercise during one of our orientation sessions, passed my clinical educator's baby photo albums (not just pictures, mind you... albums) around the classroom during a presentation on nursing documentation, and had a long discussion about how short-term disability and maternity leave work together to give you all the time off you need when "starting your family". I understand that the last one could be important/practical information for some people... but, I hate shower games. Especially at 0700.

Anyway, yep... I guess I won't be surprised next time?

I love Sundays. Growing up, we were taught to prioritize rest on Sunday. With things moving so quickly all week, it seems wise and good to take a day off.

Starting work has certainly been the major life event of this week. Orientation started out slow, to say the least, but by Thursday and Friday I began to get more excited about what will be coming in the next few weeks/months. This hospital has high standards of care and I am feeling very eager to be taught by them. They had two families come and speak to the new-hires about their experiences at this hospital (both of their children have chronic illnesses & come to our facility frequently). They covered so much, focusing mostly on what has contributed positively and negatively to their experiences. I really appreciated their openness and tried my best to take in all their wisdom. Anyway, after a few days of plowing through hospital policy and procedures and learning computer charting, etc, I can say with confidence that it was a full week. I'm looking forward to going back on Monday, even if that means another 5 days of really early mornings.

How could I forget?

Amidst all the anticipation of starting my new job, I suddenly find myself in a very different place that I'd like to be. Concerning myself with job, co-worker, and role dynamics is probably motivating to a certain extent, but somewhere along the way I began to focus on those unknowns and forgot about why I am doing this job. Nursing, to me, is a very practical and meaningful way to serve people. I love it because it is such a complex career - I have the responsibility to provide for my patients in a physical way. Monitoring labs, measuring intake and output, passing meds, calling for orders, etc etc... But, I also have the privilege of being there when my patients are feeling anxious, doubtful, fearful, or, the hardest, angry. Of course, I feel least prepared for this, but I think that it is the most important aspect of nursing. Never do we want things to happen that bring people through our doors, but worse than those things happening is the thought of no one being prepared on the other side, ready to serve, whatever the need.

I was challenged to remember these things from an unlikely source - via text - "while you might not be overly thrilled to sign your life away I'm sure the children at the hospital are eagerly awaiting your arrival." Hm, thanks for the reminder.

The Countdown

After my test I had about 25 days to devote to summer. I did my best with those days & now I find myself down to the last three. Three little days from now I'll be sitting in hospital orientation with other terrified new grads, pretending we are competent and totally prepared for what is ahead of us. Right. I don't even feel ready to pick out benefits for myself.

I went shopping for scrubs today and I came out almost entirely empty handed. Scrubs are not cute, for the record, and if you don't have to wear them then you can't tell me that they are. Did anyone else know that Grey's Anatomy has a scrub line? So funny.

Home Sweet Home

Today our fourth roommate arrives! YAY! The apt has been getting ready for a few days now - moving furniture, emptying out bathroom drawers, you know... and general picking up. At the beginning of this miniature summer vacation I would joke about feeling like I was a stay at home mom with no kids. Dinner was on by 5, floors swept, moving boxes broken down, goodwill drop-offs made... After I was done with the NCLEX, I kind of stopped being domestic and the recycling piled up and food went beyond recognition in the back of the fridge. Apparently, cleaning becomes a priority only when I'm avoiding doing something else (i.e., studying). But, we're not college girls anymore, so here's to making this place a home...

Yesterday was more about (wo)man-made beauty. Today, I decided to enjoy being outside. There is a park called Hidden Falls & ever since learning about it I've been so intrigued by the name - the fact that these falls are hidden made me want to find them all the more! So, I set off with my walking shoes and camera. About 45 min into my unsuccessful exploration, I stopped two fellow walkers and asked them if they knew how to find these mysteriously located falls. Apparently, they aren't even in the park, but rather several miles south of where I was! Go figure. So, I detoured and sat defeated on the bank of the Mississippi. It was pretty & uneventful, here are some pictures....

Today was a good day. I had planned on going to DC for the day - see the "Evolution of Art" exhibit at the Corcoran Gallery of Art. That didn't work out so well for a few reasons. Mostly, I didn't feel much desire to go. Thunderstorms & only a few hours actually in DC didn't hold much weight against a beautiful day here, where I could do and see a lot more. So, this time, staying put was the right answer.

I started my morning with plans to buy honey at the Farmer's Market. When I arrived, the lot was empty. So, apparently either no one came, or everyone came and was already gone. That's okay - moved right on to coffee and a stroll across the Stone Arch Bridge , one of my favorite spots in Mpls. (And, it ended up being very fitting to spend some time along the great Mississippi, as I will discuss shortly). I saw a boat come through - on the back of which stood a man, juggling three red balls. I was amused.

Then, I headed to the Minneapolis Institute of Art, which was by far the highlight of my day. I saw three great exhibits, but my overall favorite was a collection done by a (new) photographer, Alec Soth, and was entitled, "Sleeping by the Mississippi". I'm not sure if he actually slept by the Mississippi, but he did travel along it and took really really good photographs as he went. Each image told an intimate story and communicated (to me) the strange relationship we all feel between suffering and the hope we feel that we can be saved from it. Soth used one of those old cameras - you know, the kind you have to hide behind and cover yourself with a black cloth. It apparently helped him remove himself from the portrait, leaving an honesty that otherwise couldn't be captured. Aside from the beautiful content, the photos were incredible. Huge and perfect. I wish I knew more of the stories behind each one - I guess that was a big part of it for Soth. He asked each of his subjects to tell him a dream they had for their life. Most of the dreams were simple and completely attainable. Others claimed to have stopped dreaming long ago. Anyway, I want to buy his book, which includes all these photos and more, but it, of course, is priced a bit on the high end.

I also saw an exhibit by Lee Friedlander, which was supposed to be special. He was humerous and interesting, but not necessarily beautiful. Then, I also walked through an exhibit called, "Smoke and Mirrors: A Journey to Healing Knowledge". This was photographs (again) of Bolivian medical practices (and practitioners). I like this topic - the body-mind-spirit connection - so much so that I wrote a final paper about it just a few months ago. It was especially interesting to see this topic discussed through a different culture's interpretation. Western medicine (and thought) has done and excellent job of categorizing humanity into dimensions, whereas this culture keeps them united. I'm not saying that these practices are to our/their benefit (in fact, I have little reason to believe that rubbing an egg over a person's body, cracking in into a glass of water, and then reading it as a mode of diagnosis is credible). I guess stuff like that doesn't hold much weight to me - in a physical or a spiritual sense - but I think that realizing it exists can help remind me how much strength spirituality holds and, even, the power of the placebo effect. In addition to looking at medical practices, I think it would be interesting to investigate how different people groups approach death. I think that alone has a tremendous influence on the faith people have in medicine & how medicine is developed, whatever it's form.

Then, I strolled through a few antique shops, sat at the Walker Sculpture Garden and really committed some time to The Brothers. Which, I love by the way. Mostly, I love the narrator. He is delightful & I can't help but feel like we are talking face to face.

Today gave me more room to think, which was nice.

livin's easy

My timing may have not been ideal when I created this blog. Probably, it's a little premature, as n-o-t-h-i-n-g is happening around here (and, therefore, nothing really to write about). Anyway, I'm hoping that will change once I start my job and re-enter/begin contributing to society, but I suppose things could be just as boring post-July 21 as they are pre-July 21. With a work schedule comes a life schedule, unfortunately, and I'm hoping that will provide me with enough motivation to DO things outside of work. You know, for the sake of "balance". Funny how when there is nothing to swing life in one direction or another I get very lazy.

My roommate and I were having a similar discussion last night. We've both been feeling like either nothing is happening, or everything is happening. And when everything is happening it requires a lot of effort... but, before you know it nothing is happening again. It is especially frustrating when the things under the "everything" category suddenly disappear into the "nothing" category and they begin to seem so not worth any amount of effort that you put into them.

Anyway, I bought a copy of The Brothers Karamazov today and plan on starting it tomorrow. I'm kind of excited about that. According to the Barnes & Noble boy, it's not considered a summer read. Eh, whatever. I'm just glad that it's something.

Unhelpful Quantification

This morning my attention was caught by a segment that came on the Today show. It was called, "Do Kids Make You Happier?" and featured two women - a journalist and psychologist - that were reporting the findings of a rather interesting study about happiness and how having children can (and apparently, does) affect that.

I have been unable to find the actual study they sited, but I took good notes, so here you go...

In a nut shell, this study found that 100% of the parents polled (adoptive, single, married, re-married, same gender...) are more unhappy than people who decided to never have kids.

If I heard them correctly, the main contributor to happiness, in this context, is either the presence or absence of children, as having children (negatively?) affects one's marriage, flexibility and free time, financial responsibility, balance between work and family, etc.

Well, yes, of course children affect those things. However, I am unconvinced that for 100% of people "balance" in all of those areas is affected only by their decision to have or not have children.

This made me think about Maslow and a couple of things he had to say about life and thriving in it. Taking his ideas into consideration, it is pretty clear - at least to me - that if you have kids (or get married or do whatever) to be happy instead of just being happy, you aren't going to end up where you want to be. Can't use people as a means to something else - people are always an end, yeah?

The study also found that there is still a significant amount of cultural, religious, and traditional pressure to pro-create in the lives of American adults. Probably true. I've seen many of my newly married friends cringe when someone asks them (again), "so when you are going to have kids?" Arguably, people's lack of tack doesn't mean the idea is, in and of itself, a bad one. Hm, that makes me wish I had more time to research this because I am suddenly interested in finding a culture that discouraged pro-creation and thrived in more ways than a culture that supported the family.

Whatever, this research is flawed. If you want to watch the segment, here it is:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032633/#

Scroll through "Videos from Today" and you should find it.