This morning my attention was caught by a segment that came on the Today show. It was called, "Do Kids Make You Happier?" and featured two women - a journalist and psychologist - that were reporting the findings of a rather interesting study about happiness and how having children can (and apparently, does) affect that.
I have been unable to find the actual study they sited, but I took good notes, so here you go...
In a nut shell, this study found that 100% of the parents polled (adoptive, single, married, re-married, same gender...) are more unhappy than people who decided to never have kids.
If I heard them correctly, the main contributor to happiness, in this context, is either the presence or absence of children, as having children (negatively?) affects one's marriage, flexibility and free time, financial responsibility, balance between work and family, etc.
Well, yes, of course children affect those things. However, I am unconvinced that for 100% of people "balance" in all of those areas is affected only by their decision to have or not have children.
This made me think about Maslow and a couple of things he had to say about life and thriving in it. Taking his ideas into consideration, it is pretty clear - at least to me - that if you have kids (or get married or do whatever) to be happy instead of just being happy, you aren't going to end up where you want to be. Can't use people as a means to something else - people are always an end, yeah?
The study also found that there is still a significant amount of cultural, religious, and traditional pressure to pro-create in the lives of American adults. Probably true. I've seen many of my newly married friends cringe when someone asks them (again), "so when you are going to have kids?" Arguably, people's lack of tack doesn't mean the idea is, in and of itself, a bad one. Hm, that makes me wish I had more time to research this because I am suddenly interested in finding a culture that discouraged pro-creation and thrived in more ways than a culture that supported the family.
Whatever, this research is flawed. If you want to watch the segment, here it is:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032633/#
Scroll through "Videos from Today" and you should find it.
2 comments:
Here's what your father thinks: Happiness can be in the context of a very short period of time and with perhaps too much emotional state of mind attached. When life gets more complicated, which having children tends to do (not in a bad way), happiness can perhaps be in shorter supply than what parent would like to experience. But JOY?? Life without kids, IMO and experince, simply canot provide the overall level of joy that a life with kids can. Certianly there are exceptions, but at a population level study, I have to think any study would show results reflecting parents having a higher level of overall joy than non-parent adults. I also think there would be age differential issues here. From my personal observations, I think childless adults, especially married couples, in the 45+ or 50+ age bracket are starting to think of what their life is missing w/o children. Or.....I could be wrong in all of this. But in this I know I'm not wrong, you and your sister have brought your mother and me MUCH happiness and joy. Far beyond anything deserved.
Hey sis,
I find it hard to believe that the 100% of those with kids all of whom all less happy than those w/out is representative of the society--think about what that would mean. We wouldn't need a poll to know that kids are the ticket to unhappiness.
True happiness disregards circumstances. It has its source in a restored, functioning, growing relationship with God. Such a relationship happens with and without kids.
Ben
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